Artist's Perspective

Written by Ramesh Srivastava

Today, for me, is the first day of the SXSW Music Festival, during which we will be playing a Blogads party at the Austin City Limits stage. The mood is sober and sedate, relaxed and mature, a far cry from the mid-tour mania that characterized last year's experience. Over the course of the last year, something has changed, both within the band and within me: a kind of maturity and an acceptance of responsibility. These are changes that sound remarkably boring, but are, in fact, all the more exciting. Last year, we were invited to play several events billed for the "young, exciting buzz crowd," many of which occurred after two in the morning--a fact that I found incredibly enjoyable. This year, most of the invitations we have received and accepted have been for more proper concert-like events, events accessible even to the non-nocturnal. And this is where I come to a realization: Before, we were deciding on a career (at least a temporary one), and now, we are actively participating in that career.

I don't want to give off the impression that any of the joy has left the experience, or that I am not thankful, or that I view making music as a chore. On the contrary, the kind of satisfaction I receive now that I am fully devoting myself to this is much more real, but it is much harder to obtain. I suppose, much like everybody else in the world, I am my own worst critic, and perhaps I've given myself a standard that's impossible to meet. But I honestly believe that, if somebody has given you an opportunity to create music in a public forum, you have to try the best you can to honor that opportunity. When we deliver our first full-length record to the people who have been supportive, I want to be sure that I have given as much of myself to that work as is humanly possible.

Before, the thought that maybe I could create music for a living excited me--the thought that I could connect to somebody else the way that my favorite artists have connected with me. These possibilities are still exciting, but they are augmented by a series of other anticipations: the chance at having some impact on music as a whole, the chance at developing my songwriting into something wholly original, and the chance at utilizing the myriad of instruments and experiences made available to push sonic boundaries.

Chance. Possibility. Anticipation. These are still realistic synonyms for my goals, and who knows when my goals will be accurately met? Perhaps if I were able to sit back and just let everything rush over me without any expectation I would be far more satisfied, and everything would just fall into place. But since this is about creating something that you love and respect, and that you can be proud of well into your old age, perhaps the only way to do that is to give all of yourself to the project and to proceed boldly, with full belief in yourself.

We stand at a weird place—. Our first record is about to come out, and already I'm talking about it like it's episode seven of the Beatles Anthology. I'm not sure if that serves as commentary about the modern state of the listening public or my own nervous disposition. Either way, I am very proud of what we've done, but I'm also terrified of what may or may not happen in the coming months, years, etc... But all I can do is try my hardest (a cliché, I know, but an accurate one) to maintain a strong sense of myself, because that is what has brought me to this stage in life, both in a musical and general sense.

So maybe last year we were a party band, and this year there is a greater expectation of maturity. I think I'm fine with that, because repeating oneself is never very fulfilling: although it's rather uncomfortable to raise one's own bar, in order to remain satisfied, it has to be done. Recently, we were fortunate enough to tour Europe, which was an immensely enjoyable experience. There, the crowds were fresh and energetic, and for many of the shows I was filled with the sloppy, youthful excitement of my earlier American days. And then it hit me: this is how we can achieve a balance, by consistently embracing new territories. If this works, then by the time I am meant to be entering my crooner phase, I can still go be irresponsible in Antarctica.